What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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