Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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