That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
