Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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