he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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