i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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