At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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