I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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