We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
