Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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