My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
