You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
