So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I got her a Nickelback box set.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
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get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
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I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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