hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
