tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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