She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
