I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
