we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
