I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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