Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
