Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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