Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You are a genius and a whore.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
