he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
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her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
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High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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