oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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