Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
