I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
