he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
