how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
