farters have to be the big spoon...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The uberlube is also flammable
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
