Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
