I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
