i would punch a child for taco bell
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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