I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
