I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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