I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
