plz talk dirty to me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
