He is like the real live version of the state fair..
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize