She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
