Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
