There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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