I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
