So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We're facebook friends in real life
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
