i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
All I want is dick and wine.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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