Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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