so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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