My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
