He asked me if I "almost moaned"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
