But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
