for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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