I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
