Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So many bounce houses so little time
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Holy shit dude........stairs
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