STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize