he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
