...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
