why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
