This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize