so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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