this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
